I need to tell myself this daily

ODonnell2

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He who angers you controls you.

This message could not be more true.  There are those certain people in our lives that know how to get under our skin.  Some do it purposely, just because they want to get a reaction.  I’ve worked really hard on not reacting to these type people.  It is extremely difficult at times.  My ex-husband is one of these people.  We divorced eight years ago.  It was my decision to divorce because he was controlling among other things.  I was not going to raise our son in that environment.  He still tries to control me.  He still does and says things to me to try to manipulate me and upset me.  If I did not have a child with him I obviously would not communicate with him.  He is a roadblock in my life now.

“Never let someone or something with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.”

I agree with this quote, but unfortunately it is not that simple for me.  I do my best to not react to my ex, but some of his actions and words recently are affecting my life and even worse are affecting our sons life.  I will get through this roadblock at some point.  I’ve always wondered how people such as my ex can sleep at night.  It’s as if he has no conscience.  He has always been able to justify his wrongdoings (in his head) and never feel guilty for the pain or hurt he causes others.   I honestly feel like he will be this way until the day I die.  Why?  It’s been eight years!   I guess because he was not able to control me and stop me from divorcing him.  It is insane that after this many years he won’t move on and let it go.

Why are so many people in this world so determined to bring others down?  I know there are many answers to that question.

I guess the way I see it is that each one of us experience tragedies in our lives.  We have all had to get through really bad times.  I have been through things that I am still angry about and still hold a lot of hurt from.  I don’t treat others badly because of it though.  My conscience will not allow me to.  I am thankful for my conscience.  It’s definitely better than the alternative.

Life is not what we pictured

I saw this saying a few years ago and what it says hits right at home with me. I definitely did not picture my life to be what it is.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot to be thankful for, but I have also had to go through some things that I would have never imagined having to go through.  Some of them I am still dealing with. 

When I started this blog a little over a year ago I had planned on writing more about my life and my journey so far.  I have a lot I want to share, I guess I am still a little nervous about writing it and also not sure where to start.  I’ve really enjoyed reading other blogs that are the type of blog I am aiming for.  I have read a lot of interesting stories that I can personally relate to.  I thought this would be a good place to write about my experiences and have the freedom to say what I want to say and how I want to say it.  Hopefully when I start writing, others will enjoy reading what I have to say.  🙂

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25 Underappreciated Things Adulthood Feels Like

I loved this post. I can relate.

Thought Catalog

Uptown GirlsUptown Girls

1. Adulthood feels like eating a healthy breakfast, a packed lunch, and coming home and eating the leftovers you made from last night’s dinner. Or maybe having breakfast for dinner once in a while simply because you can.

2. Adulthood feels like spending less time with the people you don’t care for, and spending more time with those you do.

3. Adulthood feels like drinking hot tea on a Friday night or staying out till 5 a.m. But doing either of these because you want to, and not because you feel like you have to.

4. Adulthood feels like taking responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, and actions. And sometimes refusing to take responsibility for other people’s feelings, thoughts, and actions.

5. Adulthood feels like not defining yourself by the numbers in your bank account. But as much as you can, being responsible to your financial commitments.

6. Adulthood…

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It has nothing to do with you…

It took me a long time to realize this.  I wish I would have realized it sooner.
Life Lessons…